Okay, I'm blogging again but I haven't told anyone. I have also disabled people from commenting. While being snowed in with work, I had not been blogging nor keeping up with Blogland. Being away from things can often put a new perspective. I do enjoy blogging as I am a writing creature. But the whole social intricacies with checking other people's blogs, making comments, commenting on other people's comments, etc. got to be too time-consuming. I will still read the blogs of my friends, frankly I enjoy them immensely! But I may not always comment and won't check back usually...
So I am blogging for myself. I feel a need to write down some aspects of my life to see where I am at right now.
With marriage: March is always the least romantic month for us. It is of course when I have a magazine to put out and I ignore everything except the most pressing matters. But I also have issues in May and October, but March is the worst. It has a lot to do with Hiro's horrible hay fever. He is medicated, blowing his nose, cranky and just out of it. Last year, I got our act together enough for a March trip to Okinawa and a ski trip. There are no pollens in Okinawa and also on the mountains, the pollen gets stuck in the snow and don't swirl around so it's much better up north. Work is winding down for me and our ski trip is coming up so the good times are ahead!
The kids: Both Rio and Reina have adjusted very well to their new school. With Reina, she went through an identity crisis in the beginning. Being the little sister, she had always craved approval from older kids. In the old school, because of the difference in birthday cutoff dates, she was the youngest in her grade. But now, she is the oldest girl in her class. (Yes, she is doing the first grade again.) At first, she thought everyone were such babies and was turned off. But now, she is enjoying her role as a class leader. She has become more confident all-around. Academically, I don't have to worry about her being able to keep up. She is finally reading books in both English and Japanese. She has lots of girl and boy friends. She plays with older kids during free time. She is the soloist of her acrobatic dance club. She doesn't have a best friend, and down the line, she has to learn to be more loyal to her friends. She has decided swimming is going to be her thing so starting April, she will be swimming twice a week. She is very good in the water. I wish we could fit in art and gymnastics as well... but life is busy enough.
With Rio, good changes but still not enough. Last year, his class was just horrible and it was the catalyst to change schools. His teachers did a tremendous job teaching a very interesting curriculum BUT they ignored the social chaos that was their classroom. There were constant incidents of violence, small and big. (One girl got stitches) Girls and boys hated each other. Rudeness, including to the teacher, was ordinary speech.
I had a talk with his teacher this year about his behavior and she said in the beginning of the year, he was so rude and it never registered as wrong behavior. But he's improved dramatically and when he does slip up, he regrets it before even being told. I told her that some kids behavior so horribly, Rio's rude speech never got reprimanded in class. He's learned so much about being a good classmate this year. The girls and boys get along very well. Human decency prevails!
There is only so much a parent can do. He is not rude in front of us and when he is, we put a stop to it. But as Henrietta (another parent) often pointed out last year, a parent cannot control the child's behavior in class, the teacher must assume primary responsibility. Not all, though many, of the classes at the old school were social jungles. But I am glad we got him out of there.
Academically, he went from being the linguistic genius of his old school, to being a B+ student now. He could do much better. His scores on diagnostic tests shows ability two to three grades above his real grade in language arts and math. But putting in efforts on open-ended tasks remains a huge struggle for him, but Jo and I are on the same page so he is slowly working closer to his potentials. Self-motivation though remains his biggest challenge in life. He is also trying harder at sports. I think he's learning a lot from baseball. That to be a good friend, he shouldn't just veg out in outfield but pay attention because it's a team sport! In the spring, he will continue with baseball. Have swimming once a week. We haven't quite decided on whether to start him on a Lego robotics course. It is expensive, a full year program... I should decide soon.
There are public robotics courses but admissions is by lottery because there are always so many applicants. Even with swimming, Reina and Rio got different dates. But public pools are just as nice and much cheaper than private sports centers.
Me: I'm still trying to lose weight and get into shape. Being busy with work means less cooking and no exercise. The result is loss of 2 lbs. I need to lose 5 lbs. so I must keep up my small dinners and start exercising to tone up the flabs. I am getting tired of all my clothes being too snug.
My shintaido exam is at the end of the month. I haven't practiced of late but I will again. When I was busy, it became such a burden, but I am still so low level, the exams are fairly easy. I will take the fall exam as well. Beyond that, it gets harder and I will see how my time commitment will be. Secretly, I still yearn to start hula dance class again but to find the time. Shintaido is something that brings me closer to my husband. Hula dance takes me away from my family...
Photography was my other state goal for the year and that has been going well. Although I haven't taken food photos in a while, I've figured out how to take the kind of shots I want to. Buying a food photography book helped a little, not much that I would recommend. Looking at blogs with good food photos definitely helped. As a freelance writer in an economy where I must take my own photos, this is a good hobby to have. In fact, I just received a compliment from my editor about my pictures (not on the story... of course, I am a better writer but I am expected to be, photog is a bonus.)
My basketball photos obviously were like those by the team's professional photographer. But they did illustrate the point of my story better. I got great photos of the players interacting with fans, the comradery between the Japanese and foreign players, the passion of the coach. I experimented with action mode and got a few good ones of the cheerleaders and of the fans.
I was also able to take some nice shots for my samurai boom story. Taking photos of the trinkets is similar to taking food pictures. I have been in the business long enough to ask for people to walk closely and very slowly during a parade so I can actually get a photo of them together.
In April, I will be getting private lessons from my favorite photographer friend where we go around town together taking photos of the same things and comparing notes on how he does it. We tried this one time with cherry blossoms, and the shots he chosen just blew my mind!
Work: This week, I had to confront the ghosts of my previous work life. I had to get the tax receipts from my former publisher to file my return. We were both very polite with each other, though I still haven't received it yet. She promised to do it this week and barring disaster which is very possible, I should have it by Monday for sure.
What was nice though was I got to chat with the business manager, someone I absolutely clicked with. We talked for nearly two hours. She had quit in September. Now the only person in the office with the publisher is her son, poor kid. 20years old, competent writer, was journalism major but dropped out to work for his mom which is legitimate.
Last year this year, I was walking away from my dream job. With my experience in publishing and commitment to good and fun parenting, being the editor of a family magazine in Tokyo was a job I had been fantasizing about for a while. But the publisher was just too difficult to work with and I don't tolerate any type of abusive relationship. The business manager though said that everyone had such respect for me. She even said if I ever wanted to start my own magazine, our old crew would rally behind me, even without pay! But it costs money to print and distribute a magazine. Frankly, I know the commitment level would be too much for me. I'm not a born leader.
In addition, I do love the writing I do for grown-up magazines right now. I can't give that up Maybe I could do a weekly family style column for a newspaper... I wish I got paid more and sometimes I think I really need to have a specialization... but then I'm enjoying my work life right now too much to make changes.
Family: A big sigh here. Dealing with my own family is the one area of my life I feel I have such little control over and so little success when things go wrong. I love them too much to give up. Last summer, since I had friends from Japan in Vancouver, it took away my time and energy from my sister. This year I am not inviting anyone to come. And my mother is getting old which means I should be more patient than ever with her. She is coming on Sunday which will be a real test. Last time, we fought before she left. It happens a lot on her last day here. I hope for peace!
So I am now finally caught up in summarizing where I am at with my life right now. Have to go to the bank, pay for the kids tuition and draw out money to pay for bills. Tomorrow, I will finally have a clean house day and also get my hair done -- long overdue.
